We all know that people are different, but whenever we encounter someone that has a different opinion than ours, do we remember that it is because that person is different? Nooooo! We just take it personally, we get angry and we try to convince that person we’re right and that he or she is wrong.

If this doesn’t work, we pull out our cussing arsenal. It should do the trick! No one can prove us wrong, right? If this happens, it’s because of the huge narcissistic ego which stops us from trying to understand that person’s point of view. It might even be a similar idea at its core, but the words used are different due to the background experience.

An idea is universal, but the wording can be unique. This is why copyright laws exist. We all know that sometimes the sky is blue, but when someone tries to paint it, that person has a unique way to do it thanks to the uniqueness of that person. We love the fact that everybody is different, we just hate when they’re different than us.

“But I get very mad when someone argues with me! What can I do to stop getting so mad every time?” This happens in one of the next two situations: we either know we’re right or we want to be right. To differentiate between these two is a challenge, but the real challenge is to eliminate the need of being right even when we think we are.

There are situations when being right is crucial (e.g. medicine or architecture) and situations when all we have is opinions (e.g. philosophy). Before we get to how we can stop ourselves from getting so mad, we need to understand why we get mad in the first place (the questions from chapter nine can be useful here).

It’s funny how we celebrate ‘uniqueness’ until someone uses it to disagree with us. We all want to be the artist of our own reality. We forget that everyone else is holding a brush, too. Learning to drop the ‘need to be right’ is the ultimate ego-workout. It’s exhausting. However, it’s how we finally find peace.

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How do you deal with disagreement?

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PS: If you enjoyed this passage from my book Fighting The Inside Dragons, check out the links below.